We all look forward to love, but most of us hate our desire for it. I think it’s safe to say that we all need it, whether it’s being experienced romantically, or platonically. Our entire being revolves around it and the feeling of which it gives to us.
Many of us, if not all, have experienced romantic relationships, a lot of which would vouch for its role as a huge
distraction while in college. One’s involvement in a romantic relationship while also trying to focus on academics, can be exhausting and can easily drive a wedge between the balancing of our studies and the actual effort that we put towards it. It’s inevitable that our focus can become a little blurred when trying to adapt to the lifestyle of being in a relation.
For the majority of the students that I encounter on a daily basis, they all seem to share the same attitude; “…relationships aren’t necessary in college, college is about having fun and getting your degree, not settling down.” Quite often however, our words don’t correlate with our actions, hence the reason we always seem to find ourselves in situationships, trying so hard to avoid a real one.
Fortunately, for some, relationships are more like a breath of fresh air, a new start, a helping hand, and motivation for when needed the most. For these reasons, it’s so crucial to involve ourselves in healthy ones, with people who want to share their journey with you, just as much as you would like to share yours with them.
Truth is however, that no matter the level of productivity that we may achieve, a relationship robs you of time that you can be spent on building or working on your craft. Finding a way to correlate the two is the most challenging, which leads a lot of us to make a choice; a relationship or a better transcript?
When I asked Emily Wright, a 22-year-old graduating senior at Florida State University, from Denver, CO., what her personal experiences in relationships were while in college, and the effect it had on her academics, she voiced:
“They have always affected me negatively, during the relationship, but it’s different for everyone. It really depends on how you are as a person; if you are more strong-minded or vulnerable. If you are in a healthy one that doesn’t alter your priorities, then you will more than likely benefit from it, rather than it being detrimental.”
I truly do believe the negative impact of a relationship is rooted in the altering of our priorities, to satisfy our partners; even when our academic responsibilities may suffer.
For 22-year-old Koscha McIntosh, a senior at FAMU, from West Palm Beach, Fla.,she believes the success or failure of the relationship is solely based on the two people and their personal views on relationships:
“It just depends on the two people in the relationship”,Koscha says. “If the relationship focuses on making the other a better person, they will have study dates instead of just hanging around, or they’ll encourage each other to get involved in the community or on campus, but if the relationship doesn’t have a positive foundation and it only consist of sex, drugs and the consumption of all of each others time, then that could easily affect your academics in a negative way.”
I followed up by asking McIntosh if she would vote for or against college relationships, and she votes against it:
“I wouldn’t encourage college relationships because most people don’t find out who they truly are until after college, when they have had enough life lessons and experiences. Knowing who you are is important when engaging in a relationship”
As Koscha stated, it is key to any good relationship, that we know ourselves first before attempting to know someone else and possibly sharing a life with them.
While trying to maintain a social life and studies, it can be challenging enough, but is the inclusion of a relationship in that puzzle ideal?
Martha Jaimes, a graduating senior at Florida State University, from Belle Glade, Fla., believes relationships while in school might be a good move, if shared with the right person:
“Instead of focusing on a social life, or getting the attention of a guy or girl, your focus is more defined because you already have a partner. In my experience, being in a relationship while in college actually helped me focus a lot more on my studies. I maintained a good GPA and although my social life suffered, I think I benefited more from that experience, than I lost.”
Though relationships can be a bit tricky, if done right, it can be one of the best growing experiences of a lifetime. With every person we meet and share our journey with, is another opportunity to learn about someone else, to grow and to embrace life’s experiences and lessons. We tend to focus too much on the success or failure of these relationships, which sometimes can put a strain on not only us, but the other person as well.
By focusing on becoming a better person, you can also inspire your partner to do the same. It’s not my intention to deem a negative light on college relationships, because there are plenty of couples that I have met, who just work for each other.
Just focus on you and you’ll attract the right person, whether you’re still in college or well after.
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